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What TMS Chronic Pain “Work” Looks like for me

I already discussed how meditation does not cure TMS chronic pain, but I will explain how meditation is a tool that helps me be able to adopt the mindset that keeps me distraction free and pain free. I will first summarize my general process with the Mindfulness work and my daily meditation practice, and then share how I might apply mindfulness practice to a specific TMS symptom or negative emotion that I am struggling with.

My daily sitting meditation practice is typical and not specifically related to TMS management. I am only sharing it because I think the following part that is specific to TMS management doesn’t work very well if you don’t have a daily practice as the foundation. My daily practice consists of just sitting there for 20-30 minutes and focusing on my breathing. If you are starting out you might not go a full 20-30 minutes but I do suggest that you go at least 5 or 10 minutes past your comfort zone. For most that means 5-10 minutes is a good place to start. Number of days in a row is a far better thing to count than minutes in a row.

I feel the sensation of air going in and out and I concentrate on diaphragm or belly breathing. I don’t generally use a mantra or listen to a guide or do anything except work on not having any internal dialogue for for a set time every morning. My focused attention is not on stress relief or TMS symptom relief, my goal and attention for the session are set on not having internal dialogue and focusing on my breathing. That is it, nothing more and nothing less. I just sit and feel my breath in and out until my meditation timer bell rings. If my mind wanders and I start to think about anything, good or bad in the form of internal self-dialogue, I stop, reset on the sensation of the breath, and move on. I have done this for years now.

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That doesn’t mean I can’t feel or notice things while I am meditating, it just means, I don’t let myself start a dialogue or obsess about my sensation while meditating. I might notice that my back is tight, or that I am hot or cold, or that I am worried about work, or looking forward to a cup of coffee or that I have an itch on my nose, but I just feel the sensation and return focus to the breath without describing what I am feeling in the form of internal words to myself. If I do lose focus and start talking to myself or wandering off, I reset and start over with focused breathing. In – Out with my awareness following my breathing in, down to my belly, and back up and out my nose.

At first, I could last about 20 seconds at a time without having to reset but eventually my ability to silence internal chatter increased. When the time selected is over, I have succeeded. I don’t judge the quality of the meditation. Taking my seat and doing the work meant I was successful that day. After I did this routinely for some time, when I would find my mind sprinting out of control during the day (or middle of the night), I had a mental muscle that I have developed and know how to use. I simply stop the internal dialogue and focus on the breath and reset my brain to present moment awareness just like I do every morning during my practice session. After some time, what I began to realize is that whatever I was obsessing over in my head was not nearly as big of a deal when I removed my own dialogue from it as I described in the previous blogs.

That describes the What and Why of my daily mindfulness practice, but I will also share how I might meditate about a specific TMS symptom. I rarely have TMS pain symptoms these days, but I do still have stress and emotional struggles, and this would also describe the process I use for a negative emotion that I can’t shake.

If I am struggling with a specific pain sensation or emotion and simply acknowledging it ultra-confidently is not working, I sit for an additional meditation where I examine my feelings and any physical sensations formally. Instead of breathing, I focus my attention directly on the feeling that is giving me issues and examine it as an observer. What does the pain or emotion feel like on a level of felt perception only? If I start to talk to myself or describe the pain/emotion to myself, I recognize this, reset, and return to looking like an observer of the sensations in my body without any added commentary from within. Again, impossible at first, but it gets easier the longer you practice. I wasn’t even aware that I could think or feel without describing to myself what I was thinking or feeling before becoming a meditator.

Like with my daily morning meditation, I then carry this practice of mindful awareness into my day. Examine, feel, drop the dialogue, release, and re-center with the breath. If I feel a pain sensation during my day, I can now consciously feel the sensation for what it really is, examine the sensation, identify it as harmless, and then release it with confidence while I come back to the present moment. That does not always mean that the sensation vanishes instantly, but if I drop the dialogue and can avoid obsessing over it, the symptoms will eventually go away probably before I even become aware that it went away. Just like the itch I notice but don’t scratch during my formal daily meditation practice. I can do the same with a negative emotions. I can consciously feel the negative emotion without inner dialogue, examine the sensations, identify them as harmless and release them with confidence.

This is a formal description of something that has helped me greatly in life. If you want to learn more about meditation and mindfulness specifically there are so many great resources out there. I am not an expert on meditation or mindfulness. My expertise and the focus of this blog will mostly remain on what I do consider myself and expert at. That is healing TMS chronic pain through knowledge and a shift to a new more powerful and mindful mindset.

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